How not to get caught masturbating

Unfortunately, masturbation stories aren't always suuuper erotic and sexy. Sometimes, they're cringe and awkward as hell. Here's 11 that'll make sure you never forget to lock your bedroom door again I was in my parents' bathroom playing with one of those play-vet-kit-things the ones that came with a play-syringe I thought it was a great idea to shove the play syringe way far into myself. In the midst of me freaking out, wondering how I was going to get this motherfucker out of me, my father walks in. I screamed at the top of my lungs, he did likewise.
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Okay, freshmen. By now, everybody has told you everything you would care to know about surviving college, except for one crucial item: how to not get caught masturbating. That may sound counter intuitive, but you need your hearing in order to tell when your roommate is unlocking the door. The idea is to fool your roommate into believing you were watching something else all along, in the event that he returns earlier than expected. It becomes much trickier when you have multiple roommates in a dorm.
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