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M asculinity is in crisis. That message resonates loud and clear from the mainstream media. Hardly a day goes by without straight men debating what it means to be a man now that women are becoming more powerful and male privilege is being eroded. Over the past fortnight, some have even whined about the widespread outrage ignited by women who have been sexually exploited finally taking a stand against their oppressors.
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That should perhaps not be surprising in a heteronormative society that polices male femininity. What was different in this instance, is that the policing is being done not by homophobic hypermasculine dude-bros , but by the gay community itself. These revelations sparked a wave of self-examination in the gay community. Many prominent figures showered Mendes with support, while others snorted.
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In a first project, we demonstrate that this phenomenon is related to homonegativity among heterosexuals. Straight participants who were relatively uncomfortable with and averse to homosexuality tended to perceive same-sex couples as exhibiting gender complementarity, perceived gender complementary relationships as more successful and preferred same-sex couples that fit a gender complementary model of relationships over ones that do not. These findings suggest that to the extent that they endorse homonegative attitudes, heterosexuals fit same-sex relationships to heteronormative conceptions of masculinity and femininity.
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Out of the gay men surveyed, a staggering 71 per cent said that they had been actively turned off by a prospective partner because they had shown signs of femininity. For years I was so ashamed of my own feminine qualities, that when on dates I would say very little or speak quietly because I was worried my voice would give me away. Even now, I find myself trying and failing to butch myself up when surrounded by extended family members, or straight men I am unfamiliar with. But the effect of constantly being fed the message that femme equals bad is hard to ignore. Unsettling, considering I am gay.
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